Break Down

For the first time in my life, I was bitter to see the
buildings of that city rise in the distance…
Wanting to turn back; to stop time
run, forever away, in your arms…
Standing in that room, looking into your eyes
fighting back the impending tears…
Stop. Don’t leave. Take me with you…
Wishing you would not turn to go –
not let me break down; be alone…
A hug – not enough…
It was all I could do, to keep from falling apart…
Sinking deeper into you
drowning within your eyes…
An awkward silence; never wanting it to be goodbye
fearing, that it was imminent…
You were not even in the car door
before my tears spilled over; wanting to run to you…
Not knowing, what to do
or how to say it…
Unable to stop the love, the happiness
the fear; the regrets
from pouring out of me…
Living life; but not
just the surreal burden of recognition…
A harsh awakening; love spilling from my veins
unable to close the wound
or perhaps; unwilling…
Never a day; hour; second passing
without the thought of you on my mind…
The taste of you on my lips and the overwhelming
love for you, in my heart…
Spiraling into obscurity; knowing I must tell you
risking everything…
My mind; heart; body; soul….
Loving you
Needing you…
Desperate for you to see
not one thing; nor something
But everything…
That you were, are
and will forever be, to me…

Joanne Cousins ©

Knowing

My thoughts have all but ceased.
Consuming; sleepless nights
unable to pause the hands of time
the dawn, seeps into the sky…

Searching; despondently
for a way to prove to you
the lies have ended
truer words; never being spoken…

I stand; heart in hand
my soul; stripped bare before you
living moments to see you smile
and feel your love envelop me again…

Feeling the strength of our love
just beneath our fabricated walls
wanting to make up for all the wrongs
believing in the power of us…

Knowing there is a greater purpose
our lives having joined with reason
our hearts, bodies; souls
destined to become as one…

I turn over in my bed
and pull the pillow over my head
willing the tears to stop
as darkness falls once again…

Joanne Cousins ©

You

I lash out
running to you
depleted of energy
Knowing
it is not fair
for you
to have to pick me up;
not knowing
exactly how
or what, to do…
Yet, you do it
holding me; telling a joke
whispering reassurance
kissing me so softly…
Anything
to ease my mind
comfort my spirit
embrace my soul…
Doing so
with little regard
of your own needs…
I know I can be difficult
to understand; to please
I apologize
and don’t ever believe
that your diligence goes unnoticed…

Joanne Cousins ©

Infinite

What I am feeling
for you…
the realization of love
I have felt all along
You have difficulty
believing I am sincere
and I understand…
But you took hold
of my heart
and held on
while I broke to pieces…
Never wanting you to let it go…
You
are all I want to know
I want to grow with you
and see forever in our eyes…
We have held on
something in us
holds us; together….
Refusing to let go
to lose hope…
We know the love exists
the yearning and the wanting
needing to set it free together…
And so, in time, we will
the distance shall fade
and prove
we are meant to be
infinitely…

Joanne Cousins ©

Realization

In an instance we met
with no expectations
a silent speculation
two souls awash in determination…
Time passed swiftly
filled with complications
jealous temptations
unspoken frustration…
A world crashing down
a lies’ confrontation
twisted miscommunication
relief at the cessation…
Scattered pieces
nothing left to modification
bleak; sad conversations
turning to a revelation…
Standing in the doorway
perfect model of my imagination
finally; reaching my destination
my heart’s only motivation…

Joanne Cousins ©

Run; run
draw me in
shut me out
Fear engulfs me
Love consumes me
Open up
Turn away
dire affliction
Passion awakens me
Doubt numbs me
Cry; cry
trust; my love
humbly laid before you
Absence cripples me
Dreams absorb me
Sure; unsure
languished spirit
lamenting fairness
Feeling; vanquished
Distance obliterates me…

Joanne Cousins ©

I Knew

Since the very day we met
I knew
Time passed; so many things happened
But I still knew
I know I hurt you
Yet, I still knew
I tried in vain, to change things…
Because I knew
I lost you
But continued to know
You did things that hurt me
But I knew
When you were here
When you were there
No doubting that I knew
You could do and say anything
And I still knew
Through our ups and downs
We stayed
And I knew
With unexpected twists
I held on
Because I knew
You
The missing piece of my soul
And I won’t let go
Because I know…


Joanne Cousins ©

Regret

Things are better left where they are
so that’s what people tell me
Why, then…
does my mind wander continuously
through endless possibilities
Processing the thoughts;
the words…
I was so afraid to utter
something holds on
transcending time…
Clinging to the hope
I glimpsed in your eyes…
Felt you…
Your gaze…
Completely envelop me
I hurt you
I hurt me
running away
from what I knew I felt…
Encased within lies
I could not escape…
My soul cried out in desperation
So afraid of being trampled…
I threw away
The only thing I know
I ever truly wanted…


Joanne Cousins ©

Remember

Remember
while we must be apart
how much I love you
how much I miss you
at times
it’s hard to hold on
but if I think of you
everything is okay
my heart is eased
I love you
for you help me see
the good in each day
You keep my head
above water
when the waves
pull me under
and I am drowning….

Joanne Cousins ©

Take Me

Take me tonight
away to anywhere you’d like…
everything I’ve seen
is enough to kill me
no one else in the world
ever fulfilled me
Take me away
from what is bitter and broken…
nothing I’ve done
seems to release me…
just the sound of your voice
the book is re-opened
Take me tonight
before the morning dawns…
nights like these are fleeting
dawn crashes down the door
please draw me in
keep me in your arms…
Take me away
calm the storms; give me rest…
Now I know
you are my desire
and with nothing left to say
please..
Take me away…

Joanne Cousins ©